Tears

Water-Droplets

Water drops on glass with a blue tint

I cry because I’m sad. Sometimes, I cry because I’m frustrated. Sometimes, I cry because I’m happy. Occasionally, I cry out of relief.

But I also cry because of brain fog. Brain fog makes me feel helpless and frustrated. Brain fog takes away my ability to concentrate, my productivity, and my intelligence.

Fake hormones made me sad. So, I also cried because of birth control pills. Birth control pills made me feel overly emotional, like an overripe fruit that was as easily bruised by heartwarming stories as mild criticism.

High blood sugar makes me look sad. High blood sugar causes the body to stick the extra sugar into bodily fluids to dispose of it. That includes tears. High blood sugar makes me cry. It makes me a watery-eyed, snot-nosed fool. I cry fake, blood sugar tears aplenty.

Allergies make me look sad too. They make my eyes water. They congest my nose. Occasionally, they make it difficult to breathe. Then, again, I cry in frustration. I was sad and afraid to give myself allergy shots too. I cried over those too.

Sleeping the day away due to high or low blood sugar makes me sad. Blood sugar issues make me feel sleepy, and I have spent a lot of time napping, going to bed early, and sleeping late, with little rest for the hours down.

Sometimes I cry over time lost in my life to sleep that does not leave me refreshed, from which I wake as tired as when I closed my eyes. And, my allergies and blood sugar have given me nightmares. I’ve occasionally cried over those.

Fortunately, as I have learned better ways to deal with these issues, I don’t cry as much. I don’t have to suffer from brain fog as much because I’m careful what I eat and so my brain is less fogged from the high blood sugar. I quit taking birth control pills (under supervision of my doctor), and I am less emotional now. My eyes are less watery from blood sugar. My allergies aren’t as severe, and I’m careful to manage them as well as I can, so they don’t make me cry so much.

And I’m careful to eat earlier in the evening and to eat better things while controlling my portions so my sleep isn’t disturbed by blood sugar problems. I nap much less now, too. If I start to feel sluggish from my food, I exercise instead of nap now. I don’t enjoy that sugary sleep feeling, and I know how to fight it. I sleep deeper now, due to this care (and supplements from my nutritionist), and so I have fewer nightmares as well.

Crying has been a much bigger part of my life than it should have been due to my health issues. Plus, it gives me heartburn. I was on birth control pills throughout my twenties, and my health problems got pretty bad midway through my twenties. Once I began to dig my way out of the health rut, I’ve cried in relief many times as I began to feel better. So, yeah, lots of crying. I’m glad that’s over, hope it stays that way.

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